How about you?

Okay, get ready, this will be the longest post ever and I'll probably use think a lot of bad words, but I'll try using the asterisk marks.

First of all, an update and a message.

1. The reality

I think the whole world population is aware by now, but for the sake of the following paragraphs: an earthquake struck Japan on March 11. In spite of how well prepared for those situations Japan is, the shock was far too strong to be fully absorbed and the current situation in the northeast of the country is, at human levels, critical. Please forgive me not for following the exact numbers daily, but at least ten thousand people are dead and another ten thousand are missing. Japanese television spent a whole Sunday broadcasting a public service for information on the missing people and earthquake reports. 

Many countries share the Japanese grief, and the less informed are doing some pretty racist comments. That's how the world works, unfortunately. That being said, to the message.

2. Message

I can't help having mixed feelings. By that, I mean half "thank God I'm alive" and half "why did those people have to go instead of me?", I hope you can at least understand that. This is why my message has two parts. 

First, we can only hope the missing people are somehow safe. We should pray with pure hearts - no "I'm afraid, Mother Nature is revenging against human race" or "I'll pray and speak on TV for everybody to think I'm nice".

But also, feeling "guilty" and "down" are not good feelings for what Japan is going through now. I don't mean we should go around lighting fireworks up, but at least feel grateful for being alive instead of being depressed the whole day. If God really exists he won't send you to Heaven just because you're making a sad face. Be supportive, donate some money for the cause, enroll in some activity. Just don't stay still.

That being said, I'll end the news report section. I'd just like to quote one friend to make the intermission between the "earthquake and disaster" and "my personal life" sections.

"Proportions, Alisson."

A friend of mine said that yesterday while we were talking about daily life problems that are not nearly as important as the disaster right now. So I actually took her words into great consideration. And I think those words are genial.

(You should at least read this.)

Keeping that in mind, I am going to write some frustrations in the following paragraphs, but I want to set something straight. I am not, for a minute, saying that my life is unfair. Repeating! My life is not unfair and I'm not angry at God. So if you come with your "oh come on, the kids in Africa blah blah and the disaster blah blah" I won't give a s*. I'm worried about the people, but as I said, it is a miracle that I'm still alive so I intend to keep thinking about my life. Really, don't b*s* me.

3. Late changes

I won't post any sources with the risk of being sued, but it's not in my best interest so I'll just use the quotation marks. I read this the other day:

"Unlike Western societies, where people are urged to talk about everything, Japan has an unwritten law of "don't ask, don't tell," where much is left unsaid as a form of respect and politeness to eliminate many embarrassing or potentially dangerous predicaments.

[...]

' I've taken many calls from foreigners entering young adulthood at the same time as they're sent to nowhere-ken, Japan to teach English and they feel very alone. That could be a disadvantage of a 'don't ask don't tell' society where when they never tell, they'll never know.' "

The reason for this quotation is not "foreigners feel lonely in Japan". No, no. I mean, you should know some of my friends and, besides, look at how many people we have only in Japan. My point is the million-dollar "which 'me' should I show Japanese people?" question.

I'm not asking for advice, I mean, I know I'm a lost cause ("a cause with little chance of succeeding" according to the urban dictionary, sorry for the poor use). I'm just pointing out that if, like me, you care too much about what people think and about not hurting the social circles you are in, then Japan is not your place.

Warning!

I'm not saying Japanese are bad people. I'm just saying it's hard to adapt to the "don't ask, don't tell".

Which brings me to the conclusion of this post and the reason for me to write it.

If there's something I like, it's spending time with my friends. Moreover, if they are sad or troubled, I wouldn't think twice to spend six hours with them talking about their problems (and this is not a lie, because I'm saying 'friends', not 'acquaintances that are nice to me').

The only thing that is getting me rather disappointed recently is that nobody actually wants to sit with me for six hours and listen to my problems. What is happening lately is:

• I try to talk about my problem, the person nods, makes a totally empty comment like "Yeah, I know that" or "That happens a lot" (Expressions available in both Japanese and English, the world is so beautiful) and returns to talking about his/hers.
  - A variation of this: "I know, but insert comforting words here and I think you should insert horoscope advices here because, after all, insert something you read on a book here. Example? "I know, but you are beautiful and I think you should go out and be more gentle to people because, after all, the sun comes after the rain".
• The person even tries understanding my problem but soon gets distracted by a drop of water falling from a leaf of that tree across the street.
• The person cuts me halfway through my sentence because he/she is obviously thinking about his/her problem.
• The person tries to make a joke about my problem because he/she's not taking it seriously. (I will 'unfriend' you if you do that.)

Yeah. I needed that moment of honesty. Then again, I know the situation of many other people is gloomy. I don't think saying that will prevent people from criticizing me, though. Douzo.